To Be Rude or Not To Be Rude

Have you ever wanted to jump up on the counter, desk, or nearest flat surface at work and shout, “I quit!” Well, I did that yesterday. Yes, I pointed my finger straight at my boss and before the cameras yelled those two words. There were those that looked at me like I was crazy (my boss being one of them) and there were coworkers that looked upon me with awe. I could see the desire in their eyes to imitate what I had just done. There was applause heard from customers and fellow employees. With my head held high and a smile fixed upon my face, I jumped off the counter, grabbed my belongings and marched outside.

It’s too bad that the smile was due to the fact that the previous paragraph was actually a daydream. That’s right, I didn’t actually quit my job, but I certainly had the desire. On Monday, I thought of the barred door and windows that surround us at work and instinctively felt that I was on my way to prison. But from this prison, there is no escape. Day after day, I find myself trapped behind a counter, helping people that treat me like I’m incompetent. Not all of the customers act this way, but there are those patronizing people that speak to you as if you’re five. During these times or immediately following, I indulge in another fantasy that will never come to fruition. I see myself leaping across the counter, taking their neck in my hands, and either strangling them or slapping them repeatedly. Those of you that know me know that even at my meanest moments, I could never actually do this. I, in all seriousness, would smack the person and instantly start begging for forgiveness. I act tough, but I literally don’t have a mean bone in my body. At least not that I’ve discovered as of yet. If I am in fact mean, it’s unintentional and I feel horrible. And so this flight of the imagination is in all reality just that…my thoughts souring into the clouds of what might be if I ever lost my kindliness.

How would life be if I was truly a mean person? Well, I wouldn’t have friends. I’d probably be at odds with my family. My coworkers would hate me, as would customers because in my meanness, I would definitely leap across counters to strangle them in their idiocy. Life would be very lonely. I guess it’s good I’m not insolent, or at least not intentionally. Though it is fun to drift off momentarily imagining all the horrible things I could do. Mwah ha ha!!