Sticks

I love Fridays. It is the one day of the week that I get to spend time with my niece and nephew. It’s incredible to feel the love of a young child. I love hearing, “AUNT ANNIE!” and then watching my nephew tear across the room to give me a bear hug. What a feeling! I watch these two adorable children and what thoughts sear into my mind? “The poor things are going to have to go through the pains of the world. The heartache of love. The insecurities that come from every day life. The lack of self worth. Finding their testimony in a world that’s fraught with opposition.” I wish I could shield them from the feelings I’ve inevitably felt. But how would they develop physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually without these trials of life. These emotions are anything but new to me. But hey, I’m a woman. When you look up the word emotional in the dictionary, you’ll see a picture of a mob of women (throwing high heels). Today was no different.

Today I saw some unique flirting techniques that have taken place since I was in high school. There are people that are much more experienced in the art of flirting. But I experienced the other side today. As I stated in a previous blog, my flirt vessel is humor or other forms of verbal communication. The key word being verbal. During class today I saw the physical form everywhere I turned. There were those lovable eighteen/nineteen year olds that were jumping on everyone (girls and guys…mainly guys). There was the constant touching (i.e. a hand on the arm, shoulder patting, elbow squeezing, hugging, etc). There were (as I’ve also mentioned before) the stalkers who are always near their current interest. But the vessel of flirting that caused me to lack self-confidence was the following: guys carrying girls around. But not just any girls, the girls that are about as big as your pinkie. The beautiful, appealing girls that cause the rest of the females in the vicinity to cower with insecurity. This “carrying” has occurred since I was in high school and it has always bothered me.

Now I understand that guys are not going to go up to a “larger” girl and carry her (cradle style) someplace. I wouldn’t want to break my back and I expect they feel the same. But I have BEEN the “heavy” girl. It’s a difficult emotion to cover, especially when you’re trying on dresses for, let’s say choir. You’re feeling good about yourself, because for the first time in a LONG time, you fit in a size 10 (a size smaller than the average American woman). You get in line behind a Stick. The Dress Coordinator says to the paper-weight, “What size are you?” The Stick’s response, “This is a size two, but do you have a size zero anywhere?” Ouch. It makes you want to run back in the bathroom and throw up. I can guarantee that I will NEVER be a size 2. And frankly, I don’t know if I want to be. This is one of the reasons it’s hard to see the guys physically flirt with the Twigs in this way. Those of us who are not a size zero are never going to be flirted with in this way (not that I want some random guy coming and picking me up. That would be a tad on the weird side. But then I’ve never been the type of girl that guys flirt with physically. And with the counsel of the prophets, it’s something I’m proud to admit).

I want to make it clear that I love Sticks. Some of my good friends fit into this category. They are some of the friendliest people and can be exceptionally good looking. My heart aches for those of us who are not, nor will ever be, in this “weight class”. To look around (as this flirt technique is taking place) and see the faces of the other girls breaks my heart. Why do guys do this? To prove how masculine they are? They’re picking up a push broom for goodness sake, even I could do that! Or is it a way of showing the “girl-in-arms” that they’re interested? I guess only they know the answer to that question.

I want to specify the fact that I don’t look down on the people who do this. They are wonderful people that I admire. I wanted to write about this to clear my mind of frustration for those of us who will NEVER experience this type of flirting, who get down on ourselves for not being pencil-thin. “It doesn’t matter what size you are. What matters is what’s on the inside.” I hate hearing that. In dating, appearances DO matter. What we need to remember is that in 50 years, the Sticks will have Osteoporosis. So, if you ever need a GOOD hug, go for a “bigger” girl. That way, you can be sure you’ll get a good squeeze. And you’ll know we won’t break in half!