Turning Point

My Visiting Teachers came to my house today (they are ladies from my church who check on me monthly to see if I’m alive). What do you think they asked? “So, how is your love life? Are there any guys you’re interested in? Have you gone on any dates lately?” Oh boy, were they in for an earful. “Yes, I have gone on a couple dates lately and do you think they called me for a second? Nope. Not one of them. In fact, that ‘one’ guy I’m really interested in…well, I’ve hinted until my face has turned blue (well, it turned red, from embarrassment). Nothing. It’s like my flirting doesn’t make an impact. Or, what’s more likely is that he’s just not interested. Either that or he knows I like him and he’s just keeping me on the back burner. I’m getting frustrated, because I'm worth more than this. I like him a lot, but I’m tired of getting my hopes up and then having nothing happen…over and over again.” This led to a lengthy discussion on guys, girls, and relationships in general. They gave me some very good advice and I believe I will act on it.

I have been stifling myself. I don’t need to cause myself heartache over something that isn’t in my control. I can’t make someone like me, but I can stop the roller coaster of my emotions. This is a time of life that I can enjoy. Looking back over the years, I’ve been able to do some incredible things and go to some beautiful places. I did a Study Abroad program in France and during that month traveled to Germany, Italy, and Switzerland. I vacationed with a friend in Hawaii. I’ve been to various locations in the United States and Canada. I became a Pharmacy Tech and continue educating myself in that field and others. I love learning and with this love, I learned how to play the organ. I had a goal to be the “head” accompanist in choir. It took time and LOTS of hard work, but it happened. And I can continue doing fun, uplifting things. Life doesn’t have to stop when you enter “marital age”.

So, what can I (and girls like me) do? Well, I’ve decided I’m not going to wait around anymore. All it does is create confusion and distress in my life. I’m a woman; I don’t need either of those to make me more emotional. Also, three of my friends and I (who are each feeling guy anxiety in some form or another) are going to Disneyland next week. It’s going to be SO nice to get away. We can enjoy each other’s company and not worry about stupid dating games. Another thing, I’m going on a date with a guy from Salt Lake this Saturday and I’m excited! I’m keeping my options wide open! I’m not going to let any guy play games to the point that my emotions strangle me. I am in control over my life. I will not be a “back burner” girl. The world is my oyster. Now, where’s a fork?