Move On and Press Forward

Have you ever felt an overwhelming amount of love from someone as they proceeded to turn you around and give you a swift kick in the butt? I experienced that yesterday and today. The Semiannual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints just ended and I feel spiritually edified and also thoroughly chastened. But that’s what I asked for. This may sound silly to you or maybe you do the same, but I prayed that the areas where I need to improve would be made known to me. Let’s just say that almost every talk screamed, “THIS IS FOR YOU, ANNIE!” I can definitely say that my prayers are answered.

The past few months have been relatively difficult for me. I say relatively because in comparison to others, my trials seem minuscule. Many of the tribulations have been due to, well, me. Apparently, I don’t deal well with change. This past little while (amidst much change), I’ve found myself dwelling on the past and letting little things irritate me. I’ve taken offense where no offense was intended. I’ve felt alone and forgotten. The list goes on and on, but I really don’t want to share all of my many flaws with you. Luckily, I realized that I was letting Satan drag me down. He can be so good at that and that scares me. To fight against those thoughts, I have been trying to do better; to be better. But it has been difficult.

There were so many topics and quotes that struck me. I’d like to share a few things that I wrote down, because in explaining my thoughts to you they become clearer to me. Elder D. Todd Christofferson quoted President Thomas S. Monson when he said, “In the private sanctuary of one’s own conscience lies that spirit, that determination to cast off the old person and to measure up to the stature of true potential.” As I have been more “in tune” to the private sanctuary of my own conscience, I have come to know that I have enormous potential, greater than I can even imagine. Otherwise, why would Satan work so hard to destroy my self-worth? Recognizing the determination I have inside, it’s my responsibility to measure up.

So what about my irritations? What do I do when people hurt me? Robert D. Hales said, "A kind letter to the editor, a conversation with a friend, a comment on a blog, or a reassuring word to one who has made a disparaging comment; I assure you, to answer our accusers in this way is never weakness. It is Christian courage in action." He talked about being and staying on the high ground. In order to do this, I need to resist my anger, forgive myself and others (especially those who meant no offense), and turn the other cheek. But from experience, I know I can’t do these things alone. I need the Saviors help. The Atonement is not just for sin. It’s also for sorrow. I need to put those burdens on the Lord. He already suffered. He won’t suffer more.

Most of all, I need to stop dwelling on the past. As President Thomas S. Monson said, "Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey and share our love with friends and family." That also ties in to what Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said, “Learn to laugh.” In Backward Glances, I wrote about how I tend to make myself laugh. I need to use this to my advantage. Laughing is a wonderful gift and I know that it will help me find joy in the journey.

Thank you, friends, for sharing with me your trials and triumphs. Your blogs inspire me to be better and also let me know that I’m not alone in struggles. President Henry B. Eyring quoted Mosiah 18:21, “And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another.” If we (in unity) follow the Savior, we can become what He wants us to be, collectively and as individuals. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf stated, “If only we could glimpse for a moment what the Lord has in store for us in this life and the next, our faith would never be shaken and our hope would never falter.” There are great things in store for us. We just have to move on and press forward!