Sands of Change

Time continuously flows, and yet,
The world has ceased spinning.
Everything loved is now lost.
There is no turning back the clock.
A treasure once held so delicately,
Now broken, crumbled,
Cascading through limp fingers;
Sand sifts through an hourglass.
In helpless agony, eyes are glued,
The thin sandy stream pours swiftly.
Dreams rush into the granular whirlpool.
Glassy surroundings offer no friction.
As the sands fall, so do the tears.
Both trickle down a smooth surface.
Nothing can save the shattered hopes.
The past fills with fragments;
Piles of regret augment.
Each grain flows to the ultimate destiny.
Time cannot be recovered.
What is lost cannot be restored.
The future lays empty, void of sand,
The figure stands still, hesitating.
The sands cannot be reversed,
But can begin once more with the turn of fate.
Shaking hands reach to rotate the clock,
Will this span be filled with regret?
Or is time, in fact, the great healer?
The choice is for the individual.
Knuckles wipe away at fears rushing down.
A sigh escapes, hands clenched,
A decision made; no more uncertainty.
Determined hands turn the Timer.
Walking away, a smile crosses worn lips.
Life is given the chance to begin anew.

To Be Rude or Not To Be Rude

Have you ever wanted to jump up on the counter, desk, or nearest flat surface at work and shout, “I quit!” Well, I did that yesterday. Yes, I pointed my finger straight at my boss and before the cameras yelled those two words. There were those that looked at me like I was crazy (my boss being one of them) and there were coworkers that looked upon me with awe. I could see the desire in their eyes to imitate what I had just done. There was applause heard from customers and fellow employees. With my head held high and a smile fixed upon my face, I jumped off the counter, grabbed my belongings and marched outside.

It’s too bad that the smile was due to the fact that the previous paragraph was actually a daydream. That’s right, I didn’t actually quit my job, but I certainly had the desire. On Monday, I thought of the barred door and windows that surround us at work and instinctively felt that I was on my way to prison. But from this prison, there is no escape. Day after day, I find myself trapped behind a counter, helping people that treat me like I’m incompetent. Not all of the customers act this way, but there are those patronizing people that speak to you as if you’re five. During these times or immediately following, I indulge in another fantasy that will never come to fruition. I see myself leaping across the counter, taking their neck in my hands, and either strangling them or slapping them repeatedly. Those of you that know me know that even at my meanest moments, I could never actually do this. I, in all seriousness, would smack the person and instantly start begging for forgiveness. I act tough, but I literally don’t have a mean bone in my body. At least not that I’ve discovered as of yet. If I am in fact mean, it’s unintentional and I feel horrible. And so this flight of the imagination is in all reality just that…my thoughts souring into the clouds of what might be if I ever lost my kindliness.

How would life be if I was truly a mean person? Well, I wouldn’t have friends. I’d probably be at odds with my family. My coworkers would hate me, as would customers because in my meanness, I would definitely leap across counters to strangle them in their idiocy. Life would be very lonely. I guess it’s good I’m not insolent, or at least not intentionally. Though it is fun to drift off momentarily imagining all the horrible things I could do. Mwah ha ha!!

"You Can Lay 'em on My Coffin"

I went to a Single’s Ward today for the first time in over a year and a half. The last experience left a bitter taste in my mouth. I’m happy to share that this time it was actually enjoyable. I’m grateful I had friends with me, so it was less awkward than it could have been. But this could be a really fun experience and a wonderful way to get to know people. I’m really excited!

As you probably know, I’m a people watcher. It was especially entertaining to watch the interaction between the ward members. For the most part, they seem very accepting and fun! There was a fair share of “meat” lovers out there, the people (guys in our case) that have to check out the new “menu options”. Today's special happened to be my friends and I. There was one guy in particular that caught my attention. He reminded me of someone and I just couldn’t put my finger on who that was. At first he made me think of Fonzie from “Happy Days”. He had a leather jacket on, even though it’s July and extremely hot. His hair was meticulous. There was an air about him, a certain level of self-confidence. He seemed very sure of himself around the women of the ward.

After sacrament, we were waiting in the hall to go to class and I had an encounter with him. I had staked out a place against the wall and was listening to the various conversations between my friends and others. Suddenly, there he was. He entered the ongoing conversation and stood next to me. But he wasn’t just standing next to me, he was…leaning. It struck me like lightning. He was just like Joe Junior on “While You Were Sleeping”. Joe Fusco Jr. I waited for him to say, “Hey Luce, is this guy bothering you?” in that oh-so-quotable accent. I also waited for him to vacate the area. He kept talking to no one in particular and wouldn’t stop staring at us. It was quite awkward.

Joe: “Ok Annie, it’s either me…or him.”
Annie: “Him.”
Joe: “You don’t have to answer right away.”

That dialogue didn’t actually happen, but I wouldn’t have been surprised and should probably start preparing myself. He did, however, keep popping up around me and my friends. He didn’t have flowers like the “ones they use in the winner’s circle at Arlington”. Maybe he’s saving that for next week. I just hope I don’t find him in my closet trying on my heels.

Annie, Janel, and Jewelsp’s Medical Guide to Attraction

My roommates and I have a unique way of labeling the different levels of attractiveness in males. For many girls you will hear, “Oh, he’s so hot!” “That guy is so cute.” “Did you see that boy? He’s absolutely gorgeous!” “I think he’s so handsome!” “Look at that nice eye candy.” “That is one A-class piece of meat!” Okay, I’ve only heard a few girls say the last one, but I have heard it. In my opinion, it’s degrading. Get it? A-class…is degrading. I know that was bad. I think that calling a guy cute, beautiful, or even gorgeous is emasculating. I don’t think men are cute. I think little boys are cute. Like my nephew. In my opinion, beautiful and gorgeous are adjectives for women. Well, a guy can have beautiful eyes or a gorgeous smile, but as a whole, my friends and I refer to them as attractive. But it gets tiresome referring to men as only attractive or even handsome and so the following classifications were established.

Have a Heart Attack and Die. This commonly designates celebrities. Those males that are so attractive there is NO way they’d go for us. They’re nice “eye candy”, if you will, but unattainable. We gaze upon them and daydream, but that’s all it is…a dream. Besides, if we have a heart attack and die, there’s no way to enjoy the pleasure of their appearance. We’re dead.

Have a Heart Attack and Recover. This is the best classification according to me and my roomies. The guy is extremely good-looking, but there’s the hope of having that attraction reciprocated. He makes your heart stop for a minute, but with the use of a good defibrillator, we’re back to normal.

Have a stroke. These men are also very good-looking, but less so than in the previous categories. They cause symptoms of weakness, paralysis to parts of the body, and frequently speech difficulties. But these guys are more likely to requite your affection.

Have a Mild Stroke. The apoplexy that occurs when these men walk past is not quite so severe. The viewer experiences the same symptoms, but they are lessened. We’re attracted and they’re definitely date material, but not our first choice.

Heart Starts Racing. This is pretty self-explanatory. Fast or irregular heart beats occur when these men pass by. They have a certain charm about them that causes this quickening pulse, but no lasting impression. However, our feminine pride gets the best of us and we still suck in our stomachs and strike a pose.

Mild Heart Palpitations. When these men enter visibility, our hearts skip a beat but then swiftly return to normal. There is something mildly pleasing to the eye, but no substance to maintain that allure. No dating interest is developed and the patient swiftly recovers…her senses that is.

No Reaction. This is also pretty unmistakable. We feel no attraction or repulsion towards these men. They’re simply fellow inhabitants of this planet we call Earth.

Mild Cause of Indigestion. These are men that we are not attracted to in any way. We’re not really disgusted by them, but there is no hope of a relationship due to our lack of interest. They’re not bad, just not our type.

Major Cause of Indigestion. These guys cause our stomachs to turn and so we stay away from them. Not only are they repulsive to us, they are irritating. There is absolutely no interest in dating or friendship and we make sure we don’t cause any wrong ideas in the male. Seeing them can sometimes cause us to throw up a little in our mouths.

Forceful Removal of Stomach Contents. Avoidance at all cost. We will do whatever is in our power to remove ourselves from their company. They’re very presence causes the skin to crawl and the bile inevitably to rise. To say the least, they’re creepy and there is no hope on heaven or earth that they will even be given a date. Are we harsh? If you met these men, you would not think us caustic. Believe me. Men, you know there are women like that as well. So don’t think us judgmental. It’s simply a fact of life that there are people who just make you want to hurl.

Well, there you have it, the unique way my friends and I distinguish attractiveness in the opposite sex. It may be bizarre that we differentiate the handsomeness of men by using health issues/physical reactions. This way we know exactly what level of attraction the other feels when seeing a man pass by. It’s a rather handy way of expressing our appeal in regards to specific males we currently like as well. If you were offended by these classifications, I can only assume you’re a guy. I find our uniqueness quite humorous and wanted to share the hilarity with you. Hopefully, if there are men out there with similar labeling techniques, I will end up in the heart attack and above range. Heck, I’d even settle for a stroke.

Six Months and Counting

Once upon a time there was a young woman. She was preparing to enter the realm of peaceful slumber. Lowering her weary body onto the bed, she willed it to relax. Slowly her eyelids drifted shut when suddenly she heard a soft tap at her door. “Come in.” “Annie, there is an incredible storm outside. I just thought you might want to watch.” And so the young woman jolted out of bed and ran outside to enjoy.

My new roommates and I spent the evening storm-watching which happens to be one of my favorite things to do. We stood on our back porch mesmerized by the show…well; I crawled up on the roof. The other ladies wouldn’t come with me for fear of being struck by lightning. I only stayed there for a few minutes since the lightning did in fact creep increasingly closer. Personally, I do not want to become a lightning rod (not that I’m tall enough. The lightning would probably look at me and laugh. “You’re the shortest lightning rod I’ve ever seen!” You know it’s late when I start anthropomorphizing a storm.). Anyway, it was eerily beautiful! Both of my roomies said that whenever they see a storm, they inevitably think of me. And so we joked, “It’s raining…Annie, come here!” “Oh look, there’s a thunderstorm…Annie, come watch!!” “A tornado is coming this way…ANNIE; you’re supposed to run AWAY from the tornado!” We all agreed that of the three of us, I would be the one to be a tornado chaser. I, seriously, would be at the front of the action (like in the movie Twister), in the barn, holding on to a dinky water pipe, staring at the inside of a tornado, with Bill Pullman who we decided is more attractive than Bill Paxton, which is why he’s the one in the barn holding onto the pipe with me instead of the latter. That was quite the run on sentence. Anyway, it was a wonderful memory for our new home. I hope there are many more storms that we can enjoy together!

Speaking of enjoyment, it has been 6 months to the day since I started this blog. I’ve shared some of my own personal memories and I’ve made new ones along the way. I don’t regret starting this writing adventure. It’s been a wonderful release for me and a great way to stay connected with other wonderful bloggers. I thoroughly enjoy writing and starting this blog half a year ago let me begin the love affair anew.

Here’s to the next six months! May they be as fun as the last!

Closure

It happened. I have been dreading it for a while, but it happened nonetheless. Last night marked my very last performance with the Institute. It was pretty hard, to be honest. I had a lot of time to reflect, since I ended up sitting by myself next to a fake tree. I was pondering the fact that after choir (which is basically over) I won't ever see many of those friends again. There's always the occasional run in, but for the most part...this isn't just goodbye to the Institute, this is goodbye to some dear friends. I’m grateful for the chances I had to get to know them and also for all the opportunities I’ve been given because of my time at the Institute. I’ve been able to dance, sing, and play in more places and for more people than I ever imagined. Some of those people have been very important…well, they all are in their own way, but some have been General Authorities of the church. It’s been an incredible six years.

Friends, this is my fourteenth blog in fourteen days. I believe I have accomplished writing every day during the entire blogathon. Bully for Annie! This is it for a while which is probably good, considering my topic “well” has dried up. Thanks Janel for giving me the opportunity to join you on your quest! Now we’re both going to start new adventures! Speaking of which, I think I need to buy us some ice cream!

Commenting

Thank you to everyone that leaves comments on my blog. I love getting online and reading your opinions on what I’ve written (even if it’s not in agreeance with me) or seeing that you support me in various areas. I’ve heard the same thing from others. Comments allow you to learn that others are actually reading your blog and it gives you incentive to keep writing. They also just make you feel good, as if you’ve accomplished something. Personally, they make me smile. When I check my email and there is a comment, I break into a huge grin. Having extraordinary people (like all of you) makes blogging worth while.

Please continue leaving comments and I will try and return the favor. You know the golden rule: “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. I say, “Leave comments for others as you would have them leave comments for you.” If you want me to leave more comments on your blog, just let me know. I will happily oblige.

I hope this didn’t seem weird. I just wanted to say thanks and let you know that I truly appreciate the time you take to let me know you care! Thank you all for being so wonderful!